saiaku. nvm tomorrow got mahjong ^^

sometimes i really feel that i'm not really needed in this world, at least not that i note of. If i can give up my life  for a person whose beloved was dead, i'll gladly do it. Losing you it's like losing my parents, you're that close     to me like my parents are. I can't be sure but i do at least know how the feeling of losing a loved one will be like, so death means nothing to me. Everybody dies, natural cycle of human, if i dies now and dies later what's the difference. To be honest i would rather die now than die later, at least i know if i die now there won't be much people mourning for me. Ofcos i won't seek death, but i don't fear death. Even though i don't know why am i living for, the purpose, the reason, the meaning but i'll continue living for the sake of people that wants to be alive but can't. I'll continue living until i find the purpose, reason, meaning of my life.